Anyway

I haven't been around much as things have been really tough around here. What I am going through right now is much more difficult than what I went through dealing with my cancer.  I feel emotionally drained and physically exhausted.  I hope and pray that God helps me through this.

Anyway, whenever I feel down, I read this poem to lift my spirits up.  It's truly a poem to live by.

Mother Teresa hung a copy of this poem on a wall of the orphanage she founded in Calcutta. Its source is unknown.
ANYWAY

People are often unreasonable,

illogical and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.


If you are kind,

People may accuse you

of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be Kind anyway.


If you are successful,

you will win some false friends and

some true enemies;

Succeed anyway. people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.


What you spend years building,

someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness,

they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.


The good you do today,

people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.


Give the world the best you have,

and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis.

it is between you and God;

It is never between you and them anyway.

Forget the bar scene-head to hospital

Wow, again, it's been a long time since I've blogged. That must be because there's nothing much new in my life. it's a wet and cloudy labor day weekend here in the Midwest. I am having a nice, relaxing day and enjoying my home in complete quiet- no kids, no dogs, no fighting, no yelling, no TV. it's just so quiet and peaceful here, which is rare in my house, so I treasure it when it comes.

Things are the same on the health front, which is a good thing. It's been over two and a half years since my BC diagnosis and I am glad to be around to say that things are going well. Though, recently I encountered and survived a health crisis that scared the daylight out of me. I thought the beast was back but thankfully it was only an infection. I had a severe case of cellulitis and spent a few days in the hospital. The infection is gone and I am feeling much better now. As I said, I am still cancer free and I love each second of each day. I still see my oncologist and breast surgeon every three months for follow-up care.

On a personal level, things are still the same as well. I am still single. I am still taking out the garbage every week and enjoying sole possession of remote control. :) I am not ready to make any dramatic changes in my life but it's probably a good time to start dating again. Speaking of which, I have come across a nice guy the other day but I was in no mood to chit chat so I threw away an opportunity to meet him. Well, here's the story of what happened.

I was on the dreaded 7th floor (oncology floor) of the Center for Advanced Medicine the other day for routine check-up. The 7th floor was packed to the brim as usual with cancer patients and their family and friends. As I was waiting in line to sign up for my blood to be drawn, there was a gentleman in a wheelchair in front of me. There was another gentleman who was pushing the wheelchair and helping him out. The guy in the wheelchair who appeared to be in his mid 4os and quite handsome I might add was apparently in treatment though he had a full head of hair.

Anyways, the cute guy turned around, looked at me and gave me big smile. "Hi, how are you?" he said looking me straight in the eye. I know that smiles by any means, indicate or suggest flirty behavior, but just the way he smiled gave me a sense that he was flirting with me. After I signed the sheet for my lab work, I walked away and sat near the window. Well, the cute guy in the wheelchair and his buddy took the seat directly across from me. His flirty smiles and stares continued but I was in no mood to flirt back or start a conversation. It's not that I was not interested in him it's that I was in a crappy mood and here's why:

I discovered my wallet was missing minutes after I arrived in the hospital's parking garage. A search of the car turned nothing. Gone was all my IDs, driver license, debit card, credit cards and gift cards. Losing so many important things like that put me in a very bad mood otherwise, I would have flirted back or at least made a general chit chat with him. I really regret not talking to him. It's not that this was exactly love at first sight, but there was this feeling I will never be able to describe adequately. It wasn't about physical attraction. When our eyes met, I felt connected to him like we had known each other from the beginning of time. And maybe it was because we had something in common, our journey with cancer. Well, either way, I threw away a chance to meet someone I could have been good friends or even something more with. Sometimes I find myself thinking about him suddenly and hoping that I will run into him at the hospital again. If I do, you better believe I will not be wasting the opportunity to talk to him and I may even get a little flirty! Unless, of course, he's married.

Lunch is hours away, but my stomach is already growling. Time to get off line. It's feed the tummy time.

I am sorry I have been a bit MIA in the last month from blogging. It's not that the things have been crazy, it's that they haven't. January has been a quite month for me. I have been working out at the gym, running errands, hanging out with friends, taking care of the house, kids, etc. You know doing the mundane, doing the routine and doing it consistently!

So what has happened since the last time I blogged? Obama becomes the first black president, the Steelers win their 6th record breaking superbowl, US Airway plane crash-lands on Hudson River and a single mother of six gives birth to octuplets! And of course the economy is still down. But sales discounts are up. I am a total sucker for bargains. yay for sales!

I ran into a friend recently whom I have not seen in years. She and I got together for lunch today. We had a great time laughing, crying (mostly me),eating, reminiscing and catching up with the news. She is such a cool gal.

Also, I will tell you that my daughter's two puppies are propably the cutest, smartest, softest, kindest, most sweetest little things I have ever seen. Holy cow, they overwhelm me with want. Not that I am asking for my own, but eventnually I would like to own one of those beauties.

American Idol is on so it's time to get off the computer. I am so addicted to it!

The Race for White House

In my opinion, this years presidential primary election for the Democratic Party nomination has been the most competitive and arguably the most interesting race ever. We have an african american man and a woman who are fighting to death to take down the "WHITE MEN ONLY" sign at the White House. As expected, there has been plenty of controversies for the battle to the White House, such as the latest Obama controversy surrounding the Obama's spritual leader, Reverend Wright's anti-american comments. I am appalled at some of the racist and anti-american language used by Reverend Wright. And the way Obama has handled the controvery has only raised more questions about his credibility.

I really don't care who you are, what race you are or what your ethnicity is, you don't associate yourself with someone as hateful as Reverend Wright. Senator Obama is not an insurance sales man, he is a senator who currently sits in the United States Senate. He should have left this church a long time ago. Seven years later, he is still a member of the church.

I don't know about you, but after hearing Michelle's Obama's comments about how for the first time in her adult life, she is proud of her country, and now Obama's relationship with this anti-american hater, even though I am not a big Hillary fan, I am rooting for Senator Clinton. Mr. Obama has lost my support. I don't want that kind of leadership in the white house that is associated with such hatred. And I understand Michelle Obama is not running for office, but if she has not found any pride and anything right in her country up to now, I don't want her living in my White House either.

R.I.P Bhutto

Former two-time Pakistani prime minister Benezir Bhutto returns to her country after 8 year exile and falls victim to a suicidal bomb attack. She was 54. She was a beautiful, smart, liberal, secular and courageous woman. She could have easily chosen to live in Dubai in the upper class comfort, yet she chose to put herself in danger and returned to her country for democracy in Pakistan. It is a shame she is gone. My heart goes out to her and her people. I hope she rests in peace. I don't know much about Pakistan, but I hope the country doesn't fall apart and head for military rule.

I am still here

Wow, it's been a long time since I blogged. Let me catch up.

tons of things happened:

Sadly, was diagnosed with BC in 2007. Breast cancer? Yep, joined the sisterhood, a club no one wants to belong to. After the initial shock from the diagnosis wore off, I did what most cancer patients do, I got really busy learning all I could about the disease. It is amazing how knowledge increases your level of control over difficult situations. Anyhow, I battled the demon for almost a year with chemotherapy, radiation and numerous surgeries. it has been a difficult journey, but as cliche as this may sound, it really has changed my life for the better. It has taken me from the new friends I made to the challanges I faced. I appreciate medical science, the talent of researchers and the dedication of doctors more than ever now. It renewed my faith in the goodness of people, my relationship with my mother and sister has improved tremendously, it has made me a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister and a better friend. Honestly, my life is better today thanks to the wakeup call from the diagnosis. Of course it wasn't all a bed of roses, having cancer has been a challange and it also added a new stress in my life like deciding which scarf best matched my outfit!

A lot of people ask me how is my life now. Well, I feel great; I am enjoying life and I am disease free. There are no more IV's, ports, catheters, or getting zapped by the radiation beams, just a pill for five more years! I am just hoping and praying that cancer doesn't come back and crash my party.

Let's switch gears a bit here and talk about something more cheerful, shall we? Like the wonderful season of Christmas. I absolutely love Christmas. I love the lights, trees, wreaths, garlands, the spirit of giving, the fun of receiving, food, music, carols and of course having a legit excuse to shop. This year, I was totally organized. I decorated the house early, got my shopping done, and even sent out a few cards. My stress levels are low, yet I had an awful nightmare the other night. In my dream, I was still married to my ex. You can imagine my horror as this is something I thought I put behind me years ago. Waking up was obviously a great relief.

With that said, I hope you have a joyous and stress-free holiday season
-D

feeling crabby

I feel like I should have a lot to say having had a busy mother's day weekend and all, but I am feeling sort of mopey and disconnected today. I am too tired and feeling too pms-y and fatigued for my own good. I will be back once I get my head straighten out. I promise.

While you are waiting for my next post, you could go here and check out the latest celebrity photos/gossip. or if that's not your thing, you could answer these questions:

1. if you could only be remembered for one thing, what would you like it to be?
Making a life out of helping others.

2. what is the one memory that truly makes you squirm?
My very first job at a bank. too many awkard moments, like accidently dropping the entire typewriter(before the days of computers) to the ground.

3. if five of your closest friends were each asked to describe you in one word, what would those five words be?
I did research on this: free-spirited, friendly, nurturing, caring, compassionate, outgoing, dedicated and adventrous. I was hoping for " she's smoking hot," but I knew it would be hard to describe me in one word.

4. if you could tell any one person a particular thing, what would that thing be? include the person if you want.
Even though I tell her this all the time, I would tell my daughter, Angela, that I love her more than anything else in this world and that despite how difficult things may appear right now, just know that I will get back in the full swing of things after the treatments as we have so many exciting and new things to look forward to.

5. what draws you back to any particular blog?
That I can relate to the person's writing. I've scaled back the time I spend in the blogosphere quite a bit, so there are really only a few that I read nowadays, although I still check in on other buddies from time to time.

A quick rant before I sign off, gas prices have gone crazy and the government needs to work to bring down these crazy prices, now! I know the demand is high and blah, blah, but all I know is that I am a taxi driver mom who no longer can afford these skyrocketing prices. Will they ever drop down to a reasonable rate, like $2.25? I can handle that.

Hope everyone has a great summer!
-D